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If you didnapos;t see Powell on Meet the Press this weekend, you should. He is easily for me, one of the few men in our government that I respect immensely and would vote for him if he ever ran for higher office. I certainly hope that Obama asks him to serve, and I believe that he would accept.

One issue that he brings up which I think needs to be by both candidates - but both of whom are afraid to do so due to fear of backlash and loss of votes - is the belief among many Americans that being Muslim or an Arab in some way makes you an evil or bad person. That if Obama were Muslim that he wouldnapos;t be fit to run for the presidency. That an Arab should not be a part of our government. That belief goes against everything it means to be an American. It is the ugly face of racism and hate rearing its head in our country.

Ben Affleck actually brought this up on Real Time with Bill Maher on Friday. When the woman in McCainapos;s crowd said "Obama is an Arab" and he corrected her he said, "No maapos;am heapos;s not, heapos;s a good man." While he was trying to correct the womanapos;s ignorance, he reinforces this belief that Arab = Bad.

That shit drives me crazy.



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Remember Sarah Palin? Sheapos;s the almost-Canadian woman who is running for the job of almost-President. You know the one; she speaks like my wifeapos;s Aunt Lynn and is slightly less qualified for the job of running the free world than . . . My wifeapos;s Aunt Lynn.

Anyroad, she was on Saturday Night Live. The bits were funny enough I guess.

Now, I can see why Lorne would have her on the show.
A. Ratings
and
B. To have somebody on SNL with a more ridiculous accent than himself.

But why does Palin want on the show? Sheapos;s already famous. She gets better ratings than SNL by a lot. Sheapos;s not promoting a movie. Everybody is aware of her campaign. What does she gain? The entire time she seemed less like "good sport" and more like "blissfully unaware that the joke is on her."

The fact is that the Feyapos;s performance as Palin is an accurate impersonation. An Elvis impersonator would wish to be so close a match. Dana Carveyapos;s Bush (sr.) was an exaggeration. When GHWB went on SNL, he was able to point out things like having never said "na ga doit" and so on.

All Palin can do is hang around the scene like an idiot.

Is there a saying for what happens when such sketch comedy things happen to hate-mongers?

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So i went to new york city yesterday. Twas fun. I really like it there. The buildings are so tall, and itapos;s a nice temperature, and its all loud and alive with people, and itapos;s just great.
too bad iapos;m stuck in the suburbs. When i turn 18 man, when�i turn 18.
iapos;m bustin outta this "home" that has acted as a prison all my life.

just a random thought. My parents said they wanted to get rid of all the alcohol before mary catherine comes home from rehab, so theyapos;ve been drinking it all up.
so... Answer me this.....
why did they go out and buy a few bottles of vodka to keep in the freezer? we arenapos;t having guests over until thanksgiving, so why would we ever need that much alcohol? i donapos;t think that they realize that they have a problem. I mean, they go to AA meetings and everything, but i dont think that theyapos;re going because they think that theyapos;re alcoholics, i think theyapos;re going because they want to have people to relate to their problems with their drug addicted daughters.
i dunno. Maybe iapos;m just over reacting. I just have a gut feeling about this one.

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I worked out that i post on average about every six days.� Iapos;m just so busy at the moment, but i refuse to let this journal die again.� The entries usually peter off after three or four.
I finally got my personal statement done, and when i get my UCAS application in that should give me a lot more time.� I only have one university left to visit, which is Portsmouth.� Iapos;ve been to open days at a different Uni every saturday this month.� Itapos;s meant waking up at five and cleaning my teeth and throwing on whatever clothes i can find, making a load of toast which we take with us and driving for up to four straight hours to manchester or plymouth or wherever.� Sorry, iapos;m not 100 sure that last sentence made sense.� I only seem to bother to write late in the evening when my syntax goes to hell.� I think iapos;ve said that before - who knows, memoryapos;s gone too.

I have six prospective Unis but i can only apply to five.� I need to apply to either plymouth or portsmouth, maybe both, because theyapos;re the lowest level ones in case i donapos;t do as well in my exams as i hope i will.� On the other end of the scale, thereapos;s Manchester, which to get in you need straight AAA and maybe a blood sacrifice.
Iapos;m definitely applying to plymouth, because the accommodation and college are.....well, they were alright, i suppose.� I liked the law course.� I feel bad, because since it only wants >300 UCAS points i was sitting there at the beginning feeling a little superior to everyone else.� By about halfway through that had totally disappeared, but i still feel a little like if i went there i wouldnapos;t be pushing myself as hard as i could.� Saying that does feel like iapos;ve internalised all that shite from my personal statement about how i want a course that will apos;challenge meapos; and apos;let me work to my full potentialapos; etc etc....
Manchester i have seen, and we didnapos;t like it.� The law course looked amazing, itapos;s got possibly the best reputation for Law [barring Oxbridge], but we hated the uni itself and they didnapos;t give us the chance to look around the accommodation, so they lose major brownie points there.
Now Portsmouth i havenapos;t seen yet, but i need to get my application in before we visit it next week.� Everyone thatapos;s been there has said they didnapos;t like it.� Itapos;s not a campus uni, which are the ones i like the most, and again itapos;s only a BBB/BBC level uni.
The problem:� I canapos;t decide between manchester and portsmouth.� I definately donapos;t like manchester, probably wonapos;t like portsmouth.� Donapos;t really want to go to either.� Do i push myself and apply to manchester?� But then they probably wonapos;t accept me so itapos;s a waste of an application, and if they did iapos;d feel like i was throwing away an opportunity if i rejected it.� I only really want to test myself to see if theyapos;d give me an offer.� And if plymouth didnapos;t offer me a place, iapos;d need portsmouth there as a backup.

I suppose iapos;m asking myself something i already know the answer to; iapos;ll apply to portsmouth.� Itapos;s just a big apos;What If?apos; now, and iapos;ll never find out if theyapos;d think i was good enough to study at one of the best universities in Britain.� Max was offered a place, which raised more questions.� They thought he was good enough, so suddenly it made it that bit more achievable.


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My laptop keeps being a pain but at least today is behaving a bit.works once a day. Which time? It changes. At least I canapos;t say itapos;s predictable *rolls eyes*

Leaving aside that I have an exam next week and Iapos;m a bit stressed. Itapos;s my first exam here and in English. I just hope I manage to understand enough to pass *sighs*

Last weekend I was in the north of the Netherlands in the middle of nowhere. Itapos;s amusing seeing how the countryside is similar everywhere you go. Here itapos;s green unless they are growing something on it instead of the other way around, but still there are fields with different shades as far as you can see.
It was beautiful in a postcard kind of way and it really seemed peaceful. Perfect for a weekend, but not more. Still, it was interesting.

This week Iapos;ve been...off I suppose. Sometimes you canapos;t help the feeling that you donapos;t fit . Part of it itapos;s true. I donapos;t fit here as I fit with people that have known me for years and I donapos;t fit here as well as others do because Iapos;m shy and I donapos;t trust that easily. There are people who are charming and friendly and they make friends really fast. Iapos;m not one of them.
Still I know I fit more than what I thought this week, that Iapos;m not as inadequate as I felt because I was feeling down and everything.
But I still miss my anchors. I know one of the reasons to come here was to see who and how I am with them but itapos;s still scary.
And I miss them but just sometimes and I canapos;t help feeling bad. Because I should miss them, they are my family and friends. But I usually donapos;t, until I see something that makes me think of them and even then, they seem far away and a distant object I canapos;t reach so easily.

Iapos;m not making any sense Iapos;m afraid.

* Translation: I just write nonsense

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In Blackwater Woods - Mary Oliver

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

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Youapos;ll be happy to know that my playlist has turned significantly happier since the last time I posted an entry.�

So... Not having the internet in my apartment because my computer decided to go kaput and not turn on anymore is complicating my life.� haha. �I used to get on-line after work in the wee hours of the morning because I had errands to run before work in the evening.� But now I have to schedule computer time in the lab at the complex and they arenapos;t open in the wee hours of the morning.� *siiighs*�
�

JC and Daff visited me It was awesome and we had such a good time....well once I got over the circumstances that had me pissed at them the first day they got here.� (Thanks�again, AW, for your help that night.)��I got to go to all four parks with them and show�them a lot of stuff�I�was excited for.��Then, we had a good time before they left laughing�with my roommate because she is HILARIOUS.� I miss them ever so much.� And that reminds me, I wrote a rather nostalgic text message the other day that I would like to share here: "It is such a beautiful day here. �The temp, the humidity, the color, the smell, reminds me of a perfect Rochester summer night when all the neighbors would be sitting on their porches or walking around the block exchanging pleasantries. �One of those nights where tag was sure to be played by us neighborhood kids barefoot so that when the dew started to form after the sun went down it was possible to feel the grass squish between your toes.� Back when my biggest concern in life�was if I�finished my math problems and the dishes mom told me twice to put away."� It really did remind me of that.� I was walking down the stairs of my apartment and I was transported back to the view of my old street, and how it felt to be there.� I was so young when I was there, but I felt like I was so old and sophisticated, when in actuality I really knew nothing.� Still, I miss those days, I miss the energy I had, and the fact that I enjoyed life no matter how repetitious.� Now, the monotony of my life is killing me.� But I donapos;t feel like talking about that today.�

*sad face* I fell in love with a stray kitty-cat in less than like 5 minutes. �I walked outside my apt door and hear, "mroow" and I look around the corner and thereapos;s this gray cat standing there. �It was Tuesday night, the night of the full moon, and I was like, "That was a friendly meow right?� And go figure, I would find you on the night of a full moon wouldnapos;t I?"� And he meowed again and then came over to me and started ruuubing up against my legs and I caught a glimpse of his eyes. �They were a gorgeous green� Not yellowing and cat-like, but beautiful intense green.� I was captivated.��So despite the fact that I knew I shouldnapos;t I slid down against the wall (my apartment complex has a hallway upstairs that is outside but still under the roof) and let him come closer to me.� I petted him for a little bit and then he heard a sound and moved away.��Despite the fact that I didnapos;t want to I figured it was a good a time as any to leave so I headed down the stairs and he followed me� And I was talking to him going, "Nooo.� Donapos;t dooo that, youapos;re going to make me fall in love with you, and I canapos;t keep you, I just caanapos;t"� And he continued to follow me all the way to the ground floor and I snapped a picture of him then when he was in the light.� He meowed a couple more times and then wandered off in the grass.� He was so cute he looked like he was hearing something and he was completely engrossed in whatever it was.� When I walked off he looked at me once more with those intense green eyes that I could see even from far away because of the moonlight and I turned reluctantly away from him and headed to the computer lab which was where I was going.�

I still donapos;t know what I want to do.��Iapos;m debating moving to Florida permanently, I have applied for a couple of Professional Internships, but havenapos;t heard anything from them yet and grad school is still an option in my head, but I just donapos;t know if Iapos;m strong enough to go through it.� Iapos;m so average in every way...and when I get really stressed out instead of pushing me harder it makes me shut down and give up.� And that would most certainly not be good.�

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falta hace libros muchacho un

Iapos;m sitting here checking the weather.
Libby is playing with Elianna on the bed beside me. Elianna is smiling at cooing. Itapos;s quite adorable and the first time itapos;s really happened.
Libby turns to me and says
"I love Elianna, Iapos;m interested in babies and lipstick"

You know when Iapos;m filling out my profile from now on, I think Iapos;m going to list those as my interests. Have a great day.
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So i finally got a new job at Lochrannapos;s over by the soccer stadium and i love it. Itapos;s so me From the cute little scottish outfit we wear to the menu. Im just waiting for something to happen to were I canapos;t believe I work there. For now though itapos;s amazing. Tons of hot guys come in which I donapos;t think any girl can complain about that. The only thing that gets kind of disgusting is when they are old, drunk, and totally repulsive Then I get kind of weirded out.
I hope everyone is remembering to update this journal now hahah
Hillary
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