My laptop keeps being a pain but at least today is behaving a bit.works once a day. Which time? It changes. At least I canapos;t say itapos;s predictable *rolls eyes*
Leaving aside that I have an exam next week and Iapos;m a bit stressed. Itapos;s my first exam here and in English. I just hope I manage to understand enough to pass *sighs*
Last weekend I was in the north of the Netherlands in the middle of nowhere. Itapos;s amusing seeing how the countryside is similar everywhere you go. Here itapos;s green unless they are growing something on it instead of the other way around, but still there are fields with different shades as far as you can see.
It was beautiful in a postcard kind of way and it really seemed peaceful. Perfect for a weekend, but not more. Still, it was interesting.
This week Iapos;ve been...off I suppose. Sometimes you canapos;t help the feeling that you donapos;t fit . Part of it itapos;s true. I donapos;t fit here as I fit with people that have known me for years and I donapos;t fit here as well as others do because Iapos;m shy and I donapos;t trust that easily. There are people who are charming and friendly and they make friends really fast. Iapos;m not one of them.
Still I know I fit more than what I thought this week, that Iapos;m not as inadequate as I felt because I was feeling down and everything.
But I still miss my anchors. I know one of the reasons to come here was to see who and how I am with them but itapos;s still scary.
And I miss them but just sometimes and I canapos;t help feeling bad. Because I should miss them, they are my family and friends. But I usually donapos;t, until I see something that makes me think of them and even then, they seem far away and a distant object I canapos;t reach so easily.
Iapos;m not making any sense Iapos;m afraid.
* Translation: I just write nonsense
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