четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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So exhausted, so relieved, and yet unable to finish this sentence because of the deepening complexities, the tangled webs, the raw feeling that wraps itself intricately around some heart; for when fingers touch, a past is forgotten, a path is found in that accursed mist, never what you intended it to be, and holding on with a dying hope, diminishing, now you know; you see, always looking--


just looking...


now you don't.



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среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

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Spent the whole night dreaming about changing my web pages and woke up with no idea how to accomplish what I dreamed. I'm still just as frustrated. But I aim to spend the day trying different things, and I hope something works.



It's the last day of play practice for the girls, so it's the last day I have until 4:30 to spend my time how I want. Today is going to be a work day and I think I'll need all that time.



I'm hoping someone out there knows how to use SSIs, server-side includes. And can explain to me why a librarian would ever need that knowledge in her daily life. This class has me feeling trapped and frustrated and like there's so much out there that's impossible for me it sucks. And that's the optimistic side.


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I fucking hate the winter. When the daylight hours are less and more clothing is required.

right now, i just want to run away from everything.

i miss having a best friend.

i miss sharing emotions with someone. Iapos;m so sick and tired of holding shit in.
fuck grammar rules

fuck everything. Why the fuck should i care when no one else seems to? seriously, i should just run away, die and be done. Or how about this, not run, die inside, get married and have a couple of kids, while at the same time, ruining them in the process, b/c who cares, itapos;s all about propagating my genes. This will complete me.
i canapos;t wait to waste away like everybody else.

pity party = part of the human experience. Anyone wants to deny that, then a liar you be.

anger issues? maybe so. Numb issues? fading away.

if mccain gets elected, iapos;m getting my degree and moving the fuck out of this country.
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